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Surefire indicators you had been A 2000s Gay Teen On lengthy Island as told through our resident extended isle Lesbian,
Dayna Troisi.

Spray tans. MTV’s “Place Raiders.” Having an inexplicable crush on Janis Ian. Striking the language in a person’s cellar in the middle of grateful Bunny prints. Constantly caught between getting emo and guidette. Acquiring shoved into lockers.

All of these circumstances constitute the strangely specific connection with becoming a homosexual child on
Lawng Isle
during the early 2000s. There is absolutely anything in water on
Lengthy Island
, because there are even more homosexuals than
nail salons
. I’m sure it is unbelievable, as suburbia tends to be a traditional wasteland, but that’s what they need you to imagine. Actually, our company is homosexual as hell. All my personal
and best pals are queers through the isle of extended.

Thus, if not one person otherwise pertains to this listing, i understand you spray-tanned, sauce-eating, fist-pumping gays are certain to get it. Love and kindly give the graduating course and go my
insta handle
to the lesbians who escaped their hometowns and also make more than six figures today.

Here are 131 indications that you were a Long Island
homosexual teenager
in 2000s. Yes, this list is loooong because our company is added AF– our very own eyelashes and listings are hella long– they don’t really state “longer isle” for nothing.


. You had a GSA inside senior high school

While advertised you had been merely an “ally.”

2. You had homosexual cybersex in AOL chatrooms


3. you’d a secret Myspace web page

In which you joined up with lesbian teams and had intensive interactions with other queer adolescents littered across The usa.

4. You secretly viewed
“The L Keyword”
and frantically flipped back into Nickelodeon any time you heard your own mom’s footsteps drawing near to

Your reflexes were on point utilizing the remote control.

5. You
this dark colored toy

Lengthy isle gays will always remarkable in bed due to these.

6. You had been suspiciously proficient at eating these

7. You believed the extended Island Medium would definitely view you from inside the food store and out that your whole family members

8. Unattractive
straight girls
insisted you had a crush in it

Just as if.

9. You’d an all-consuming crush on a punk elderly

Mine had a fohawk and dressed in security pins as earrings.

10. “The Perks to be A Wallflower” rocked your own globe

Plus that time, we swear we were



11. You wore
black colored lipstick

Because what exactly is becoming queer without subverting ~norms~?

12. You had been darkly enthusiastic about Sylvia Plath

Im. I am. Im. GAY.

13. Your own English teacher was the best pal



14. Truth Or Dare was actually your preferred sleepover online game

You haven’t stayed in the event that you did not attempt to bribe your absolute best friend into daring that hug the crush.

15. You used to be inexplicably turned on by noise of mac ‘n’ cheddar existence stirred

Confess it.

16. You had a wonderful gay child BFF

Just who lowkey is actually far too cool off for you personally today, really works in fashion, and hangs with a bunch of straight designs.

17. You cann’t determine whether you desired become Avril Lavigne or do her

a tie seemed dreadful on me personally, thus I know i recently wanted to sleep with her.

18. You used to be about
softball group
, or if you tend to be a vintage, unsporty lez just like me, the program choir

19. You used to be in the argument team


And constantly contended pro-choice.

20. You listened to Regina Spektor and Kate Nash

21. You sang an unknown monologue when you look at the ability program

Mine got me personally dangling.

22. You had key rendezvous during the girls’ bathroom

No kiss is ever going to compare well towards thrill associated with highschool restroom kiss.

23. You took part in “Day of Silence”

As an “ally,” needless to say.

24. You had been


scared of being outed your parents

I arrived to my mom at gyno, because We amazingly stressed she’d tell my mom I had a LESBIAN pussy.

25. You had no sex training and then have never used a
dental dam

Sorry to any or all you sex instructor girls whom went along to Smith college or university. I suppose you must never rest with an extended isle lez?

26. You went along to Warped concert tour or Bamboozle

And used Jac Vanek and TWLOHA jelly necklaces.

27. And questioned group users from Cobra Starship to signal yourself areas

Gabe Saporta signed my boob, and my personal mother got aside my personal AIM membership.

28. You saw homosexual shit on
and said it was a major accident or even for a school task

29. You have got massive acrylic
because not even homosexuality may in the form of a Long isle women’s beauty routine

Lesbian fail, but fashion victory.

30. You stained jet brown around some sporty lesbians sheets the 1st time you installed

Sorry about that.

31. You self


had gender inside bra because you happened to be wearing a bombshell push-up bra from Victoria’s key

All our tits appeared two sizes larger than they truly were ’cause of those foolish bras. I happened to be a 36E with one, and I also appeared to be a demented pervy anime.

32. You anxiously wished to get on
Jersey Shore

33. You didn’t have to rest to visit a female’s house

The thing which makes it far more easy to grow up

34. residence parties were packed with belowground homosexual debauchery

The basement is how the homosexual shit occurs.

35. You looked to find out if your ring-finger was actually more than the pointer little finger to determine if you were actually a lesbian

Because you heard it you covertly viewed “The L Word.”

36. Or took “are I gay?” tests

We unequivocally knew I found myself gay at 13 years of age because Quizilla said I was.

37. You


homosexual content thereon dark colored internet site
Ebaums Community

38. Whenever youtube ended up being formulated, you sweatily searched “girls kissing” in your family’s computer system in the exact middle of the night time

Which brought to…

39. You installed porn to Quicktime (it was pre-Pornhub, youngins!)

40. You had to
push a guy to prom
, but still slept with a girl that evening

41. Your body fought somebody who flirted along with your girlfriend at least once

You are not from lengthy isle if you haven’t punched your ex in the face at Pride.

42. You’re hopelessly crazy about a
straight woman
which skateboarded

43. You had to visit “religion course”

The emphasize of my high school profession was acquiring fingered inside the chapel bathroom.

44. “All The Things She Said” by t.A.T.u. was the shit

45. You smoked smoking cigarettes within coastline in winter months in your auto

And thought you were thus cool and alt.

46. You drove twenty minutes to go to the drive-thru Dunkin’

Even though there clearly was a walk-in one all the way down the block.

47. You drove couple of hours for Sonic in nj-new jersey

When you haven’t caught on, truth be told there actually wasn’t a lot to accomplish.

48. You drove as the only source of fun

Will you be noticing a structure right here?

49. You kept hearing about LIGALY while understanding you’d fairly perish than action base in LIGALY

Also loser closeted adolescents on Long isle have actually requirements. We wished to party in a dark pub, perhaps not consume stale donuts in a community center.

50. You had a Ryan Cassata CD

You ordered when he visited your own GSA.

51. You h

advertising a crush on a girl who visited a catholic class

52. You “hated” your mom but spent each and every day with your mom

The family codependency is actual.

53. You missed junior prom

We invested junior prom ingesting at warm’s because of the different gays.

54. You centered so difficult on to the ground inside locker space you very nearly fell over

Jesus forbid a girl thinks you’re observing the woman education bra.

55. Will Most Likely Die If You Don’t Sporting Converse

56. You drew tattoos all over yourself (because trimming ended up being too extreme)

We had been also sheltered and responsive to reduce.

57. You decided to go to Hot Topic after that remaining because you got unnerved

Since there had been usually a hot dyke operating from the register, however you weren’t edgy enough on her behalf.

58. However were in addition too scared to enter Abercrombie or Hollister

Since it had been dark colored and smelly inside — also because you’re very interested in the softball lez greeting adolescents in the home.

59. You ordered rainbow


about DL at Spencer’s

60. “Hairstyles regarding the Damned” rocked the globe

Every queer child check out this regarding the coach.

61. So performed “The Catcher Inside The Rye”

And so, you turned into instructor’s pet.

62. You confided within animal puppy, cat, or hamster

because no body else ~got you~

63. You owned close friends pendants from Claire’s with a lady you ended up internet dating

64. You blogged committing suicide notes as a spare time activity

With zero aim of actually soon after through, you just like, required the *release.*

65. You really have an incredibly morbid, dark, and politically wrong love of life

See 64.

66. You simply can’t stay Personal Justice Warriors.

Long Islanders don’t have any perseverance for buzzwords.

67. You totally tend to be unlearning all of your current f*cked upwards prejudices, however.

Getting gay doesn’t allow you to be exempt from that.

68. You’re obsessed with 3oh!3.

Inform your sweetheart, if he states he’s had gotten meat, that I’M A VEGETARIAN, AND THAT I AIN’T F*CKING SCARED OF HIM.

69. You study to leave a grim truth, nevertheless only ended up reading books about young homosexual teens getting hate-crimed anyhow

Or perhaps you had been hate-crimed to be a loser whom checks out.

70. You utilize “hate crime” as a colloquialism.

71. You bought

a “gay street” sign up your own field trip to the metropolis

And hid it inside cabinet.

72. You hung a Pride flag in your locker and took a Myspace picture along with it

73. You had a DeviantArt profile

Mine unfortuitously still prevails.

74. You thought really seriously that you relate to Matthew Shepard and Laramie Wyoming while having nothing at all in keeping aside from getting gay

While was the star in “The Laramie Project,” directed by the unusual drama instructor.

75. You made insensitive jokes about “The Laramie Project” as if you had beenn’t laughing, you had been sobbing.

My personal companion and I also nonetheless go hysterical each and every time we state “the shining lighting of Laramie.”

76. You went through your own yearbook and guessed whom you thought ended up being homosexual as well

77. You’re in a love-hate connection with your music teachers

78. You significantly seemed from the shuttle screen if it rained

79. You understood every line to rent out

NO time just TODAY.

80. You played 7 Minutes In paradise at an all-girls sleepover


81. You remember being so desperately distressed you used to ben’t asked into all-girls sleepover in which you’re SURE they played 7 Minutes In paradise


82. You pretended as afraid during scary movies to keep your own pal’s hand

Oldest technique in publication, girls.

83. You consumed the sorrows in Elio’s Pizza whenever you got house from softball exercise

The actual fact that there are 10 amazing pizzerias in a two-mile distance of your property.

84. You’d a Nextel walkie-talkie cellphone

Tegan and Sara
was your own faith

86. P!nk

had been the confusion

Missundaztood nonetheless slaps.

87. You dramatically cried inside room enjoying “face”

Despite the fact that your property life ended up being actually fairly amazing as well as your mom was a student in your kitchen generating sauce while your father was actually taking walks canine you ~swore~ you would manage.

88. You transported a skateboard around but cannot in fact skate

89. You transported smokes around but didn’t actually smoke

We forced my ex to hold smoking cigarettes every where to check tough.

90. You did anything to abstain from gym course

Thankfully, We have a disability. Some other gays needed to acquire more imaginative.

100. You stated you were bi

But you happened to be truly gay just like the day is actually long.

101. You visited
Flames Island
every summertime without ever realizing it had been homosexual core

HOW performed I perhaps not understand I became so close to many dykes?

102. You completely realized exacltly what the wellness instructor was actually talking about whenever she talked about her roommate

I had the largest crush on my wellness teacher.

103. You wore rainbow sweatbands


104. You invested weekends consuming around dirty home fitness equipment in someone’s basement

You had beenn’t cool sufficient to drink in vehicle parking lots which means you drank near to the mom’s Gazelle.

105. You obsessively curated your own myspace top 8

106. You diverted the interest far from yourself by simply making enjoyable of somebody else into the locker area


107. You begged your own mommy to purchase you shit from infomercials

108. You binged on awful treats like Cosmic Brownies and Kool-Aid after school

109. You played those Barbie dress video games online so you might take their particular clothes off

You dirty perv.

110. You corrupted your next-door neighbors by simply making almost all their Sims flirt with ladies

111. You kissed girls as a “game” since you had been “acting”

112. You saw “men You should not Cry” as just homosexual content material in GSA and happened to be afraid back into the closet just a little

113. Then you definitely saw “But I’m a Cheerleader” and had gotten a lot more scared

114. If you are lucky, you had one
queer aunt
exactly who lived in Ny and offered you wish.

115. You intensely masturbated to MTV songs videos

I’ll most likely never your investment first time We watched the “Genie In a container” video clip.

116. The cool ladies exactly who bullied you’ve got multiple children and benefit a



Hey! i am aware we now haven’t discussed in a bit. How could you be lady?! Was thinking if you were into studying about Mary Kay?

117. You viewed “Then” making use of door shut as it had been a bisexual occurrence


118. You snuck peeks of titties through 18+ section of the video shop

119. You viewed Scrambled Porn Channel on channel 99

120. You practiced the heartbreak of being within shopping mall and watching directly lovers keeping hands and feeling that way will not be you

121. You have away with creating in the hall as the educators didn’t want to be accused of dislike crime-ing you

122.  You w

atched “Donnie Darko” with queer art children and


to think its great to squeeze in

The F*CK ended up being with that movie?

123. You typed we <3 **** in your notebooks

Since you were also frightened to actually create the crush’s title.

124. You loved “Twilight”

Or felt a smug feeling of superiority for hating it.

125. You had debilitating stress and anxiety on
Nationwide Coming-out Time

126. You actually felt worries of goodness in case the parents mentioned homosexual men and women

127. You burned CDs with custom playlists for women you had crushes on

128. You dated a female with an eating ailment

129. You dated a lady while having your own personal eating ailment but hers was actually worse so that you must consider that

Said very long Islanders have inappropriate senses of wit.

130. You dressed in men’s


to draw the


131. You it seems that have many repressed stress, and you are recognizing it as you’re causeing the list

However you are unable to end cackling together with your companion whom you survived it all with.